Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Lupin Lady

The story of the Lupin Lady was read to my graduating 8th grade class. It tells the the story of a girl who decides to make the world more beautiful. She walks all over town spreading lupin seeds, even though the townspeople thought she was crazy. But when spring came, the town was covered with the beautiful lupin flowers she had planted. 

This story, though not carrying any particularly heart wrenching story, reminds me of my goal in life. The obsession over grades, high schools, achievements.... I sometimes forget why they matter. It isn't simply so that I can go to a good college and live a good life. Ultimately, my life on earth has no meaning on its own. I'm less than a blip in history. My ultimate goal is to create something that will long outlive me. 

I turned 14 yesterday.  Lying in bed and resting after all the celebration and festivity, I thought about my fourteen years of life so far and I realized, that the me of today has done... practically nothing. If  I were to leave the world now, I'd be completely dissatisfied. What have I done to deserve the life that I have today? I want to be someone worthy of what I've been given. 

I want to make something out of these past fourteen years. Maybe I haven't made a difference yet, but I have spent fourteen years preparing for it. To be able to have a voice of some sort in this world... that is my dream right now. Right now, I'm not completely ready for it. Writing what I think in the most meaningful way possible is still a struggle for me. But I'm going to keep practicing, keep writing, speaking up. Hopefully in this way, there will come a day when I'm ready for the world to hear me. 

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